How silly, that they could talk of love and want and need, but the idea of a simple noun for each other was too complicated by half. Cat liked grand titles well enough. Hard not to when most of them included terms like Queen or Empress. But getting her to talk about more… routine labels hadn’t been very successful so far. Still, Kara mused, there was no doubt how committed Cat was to this relationship, judging by how much time they spent together.
“I know we started talking this morning, but this is so much more than a headline to me,” Cat continued, leaning in to gently tilt Kara’s chin upwards. “What you are to me? How I feel about you? We’re going to have to invent language for it, Kara. You deserve so much more than trite little words that I’ve wasted on other people. You deserve everything.”
Soft music playing in the background, your face is lit up by the radio’s lcd display. You blink softly as you look at me and twine my fingers with yours. You’re soft and sleepy. I have the strongest urge to cuddle you and kiss your cheek but there’s a console and gear box between us.
We’ve just come back from a long drive. You wanted me to take you somewhere. Anywhere, with no destination in mind really. Just a scenic drive. Minimum navigation, just turning left or right if it feels right. Taking whichever exit calls out to us.
We eventually stopped somewhere random, next to a church that I noticed when your GPS urged us to perform a U-turn. Your shoes are off, you’re always more comfortable that way. Your toes wiggle intermittently as if they were expressing their joy at being free. You prop your feet up against my dashboard and look at me. “What next babe?” you ask languidly.
We talk. For two hours. Discover more about each other. Share fears, dreams, hopes, expectations. You scrape me with your absurdly long nails several times playfully. I like it when we tease and joke with each other. We invent a new safeword for honest conversations. I tell you that you shouldn’t get a fringe, you tell me that you don’t like my latest haircut. We sip from the same bottle of water periodically.
The sun is glinting through the leaves of the tree that surround us, we’re in a very quiet neighborhood. Evening is fast approaching, we have to get unlost. We reluctantly stretch and begin the journey back. “Take forest road so that the route back is easier,” you say. I agree and tell you to navigate, even though I know the way all too well. I just want to hear your voice.
Now we’re here in my my car, your face lit up by the lcd radio light. You look soft and sleepy, we’re holding hands, the air is heavy with intimacy. You have to go. You stay another thirty minutes. I embarrass you with lewd stories. We laugh, you have to go. You stay another twenty minutes.
“Wanna come up?” You ask.
This budding reticence regarding being close to me was present in the way you served me tea and in the curve of your smile.
Your touch was hesitant, reluctant even. Your gaze, fleeting and darting all over the place. Your embrace was hollow and your heart beat like a trapped hummingbird.
Deconstruct my sexuality every time you’re inside me. I want you to find out the different facets of my pulse that make me come when you stroke me right.